Wednesday 1:20a.m.. I'm still not sure what to write. So much has happened in the past two months. Thing's just continually keep looking grimmer and grimmer. I feel so out of touch it isn't funny. I never thought I would make it this long. It should have all ended months ago, and yet .... I'm still hanging on!! If I can ever figure out what it is I'm feeling maybe I'll return to writing more. I'm just not sure that I "AM" feeling. For the first time in so many years my mind is actualy sorta blank. The constant thought's that I have always had, the fucked up feeling's, the last of any hope have all but dissapered.

The one thing that hasn't entirely gone away though is the fact that I miss Kara Marie with all my heart.

FOREVER N ALWAYS

JaImS

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Thursday 11:30p.m..

Nothing, absolutly fucking nothing, ever goes as planned. The way it should go, the way it's supose to go. The way I wish it would go. :(

Nothing can ever go smoothly, nothing ever just falls into place. Everything is a hassel. I'm just so fucking sick and tired of trying.

I miss you Kara.

FOREVER N ALWAYS

When it's over ... it's over!!!

Jaims

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Monday night 10:40p.m..

How do I hide the way that I feel

When the pain and confusion

Are the only things that seem real

Where can I go to get away

Hide from tomorrow, run from today

My life in ruins, here on display

How do I find peace of mind

find confidence, regain self-respect

When in life I have fallen behind

How does it finally come to an end

no more depression, or feeling this way

I want to break, yet still I bend

FOREVER N ALWAYS

"Is there no redemption"

J.J.Jaimison

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